the passengers on my bus

I am preparing for my first ACT workshop for musicians and through my reading I was reminded of the Passengers on the Bus metaphor commonly used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This metaphor is a very effective way to demonstrate how thoughts and feelings (the passengers) tend to dictate directions to the bus driver (you) when you are trying to head in the direction of the life you want to live. 

Today my passengers were very vocal. 

'Why did you start this stupid blog?'

'Why did you tell all these people you were doing this audition? There are so many impossible excerpts and you will never be able to play them all'

'Who in the hell do you think you are, putting your hand up for this audition? You are a B-grade horn player. You don't fit in there.'

Feeling of shame, embarrassment and panic were also on my bus today and they were very noisy.

I heard them all calling for me to turn around the bus, pull over and just get off, telling me I don't need to do this, I can just stop it all right now. The passengers told me that nobody really cares whether I do this or not. The kind old nanna voices said 'Look after yourself Deborah. Be kind to yourself. This is all too much for you.'

I heard them all, and I just kept driving.