unwilling to be seen

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I stand here before you with the stated purpose of performing for you, competing against the others for your attention, and hoping that you will think I am good enough to be chosen.

But I do not want you to see me.

Or hear me, for that matter.

I do not want you to hear the real me.

The broken me. The not enough me. The imperfect and imposter me. 

I only want you to see the curated and perfected version of me. 

The version of me that I want you to see. 

But it is so hard to keep that brittle and shiny version of me up to the task.

So very often I smash right in front of you. Crumble and shatter.

Deborah HartComment